I have had many incredible personal and business success stories in my life … but each one has been cut short of what it might have been ... of reaching its full potential … always leaving me to lament of what it would have been if I had only gone for it.
Yesterday a deep transparency from my past as a kid exposed itself to me … that of being bullied and accepting it … not standing up for myself as I felt I was not worthy of having it in the first place.
No one ever stood up for me as a kid ... no one ever stroked me … not even for any of my accomplishments … and so I believed that personal success was something for the other guy … but not for me.
Man, how I now see that this belief has continually derailed and sabotaged most of my life journeys, both personal and in business, too many times. Just when I felt I could have it all, I stepped back and watched as it was taken from me … or I just let it go … or was not willing to fight for it … because that’s just how it was for me … never good enough to have it all.
Discovering this transparency has been like pulling teeth because I did not even know what I was looking for. In hindsight sure could have used a personal life coach to have made the discovery easier … but then maybe I was just not ready. I believe this will be a controllable disconnect from this transparency now that I know about it. And to be quite honest … I feel a little pissed off about it … OK, maybe I feel even a lot pissed about it … but for sure am so ready to put this transparency away for good … and now will begin to work on completing this most important life task.
I know deep down that this is a very important discovery for me and feel quite relieved about this long awaited uncovering. Funny how obvious things like this did not show up as a possible problem … as it has been part of my life for so long now … as I almost would expect it to pop its head up just before I reached my destination … all because I believed that’s just how it was … it blended in so well in my life activities. No More! NO MORE!!
Finally I can go for it all, no more lamenting over my hopes and dreams of what might have been … because now I know … I AM worthy of having it all.
by Ronnie Kaufman - Tucson, AZ December 24, 2010
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